It’s the end of the world apparently and like grabbing a fistful of prophecies from Nostradamus’s Naughty Tombola, scientists, philosophers and those ‘money idiots’ queue up, fat marker in hand to tag their names onto the grotty train to ‘I Told U So’.
Best grab your loved ones and an armful of Red Bull and head for the hills, cos if the crunch don’t get you, the icecaps will. With only a remote control to guide us , wave it anywhere near a telly and a whole spectrum of fear and blame will come coursing through that hire-purchase LCD to light the way, but check the Daily Manual for further instruction.
From what you’ve done with your kids, now swapping their Go Go’s for ASBOs , to how crap you’ve been with your cash, good advice comes second to a decent horror story. Oh, and then there’s that delicious hot potato of what you eat.
See, you get a phantom dispensation for eating overpriced offal and fine wines concocted by a scientist, so feel free to point that fat finger and call to take away the takeaways and Turkey Twizzlers. All of this is done in the best possible taste of course and to maximum panto-dramatic effect, cos we all love telly, innit! goodies vs baddies and that.
But the ‘money idiots’ have been out to lunch for too long leaving us all with a twelve figure hangover (400 billion…shit!, think how many packets of Monster Munch you could get with that) and not one sachet of Resolve in sight. The smoke and mirrors of international finance will deliver a masked blow to most over the next couple of years and it’s interesting to watch the rest of the world play catch-up with the recession that has happened in the music industry for nearly ten years. Surely it would be daft to release a record in such a climate, let alone start work on a second? But historically the entertainment business has boomed in tough times as punters strive to escape. Let’s face the music and fucking ‘avin it!
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